I just changed my layout and userpic for the first time in almost a year! It's refreshing and I am very satisfied with it :)

Just because I have no where else to put this:
( Lists to be friends list friendly )


I know that my journal is lacking a real entry. But I needed to write this down somewhere to keep myself accountable. Anyways, here we go.


Andrew and Dads work just got a big building job so they will be transferring to 10 hour shifts (6am-4:30pm, as opposed to 6:30am-3pm). More money cash flow so I am excited about that since Andrew makes about $22/hr on overtime.

I've given up on the idea of getting a place here and have decided the best decision is to stay at my parents.. for right now. We'll be able to save up money quicker for the things we want, and need to do. I just have to keep reminding myself of this.

Summer is right round the corner so next weekend we are buying a bike. It will be the best way for me to exercise. Reason why I was so thin when I was younger, I spent 70% of my time bike riding with my friends almost all day!

Andrew and I are great. I love him more than I have ever loved him. The other day I read through the beginning of this journal and felt so happy and content. He is still my best friend. When I remove myself from us in my mind and really look at our relationship, I feel very grateful to have him. We have our cute little things about things we like that I didn't even realize we had until we started hanging out more with my friend Katy.

Things are okay for once.

Today is the worst day ever. The hunt to find our own place is wearing on me. My car is being unpredictable with starting and theres so many possibilities of what it could be. I woke up fom a nap and have been super depressed all day and I've cried three or four times now. My sister is being a cunt, and I'm just blah. I have a lot on my mind but everything thinks my life is so good because Andrew makes decent money. Doesn't mean I'm not YEARS behind on EVERYTHING.

Also I died my hair pink and now I feel stupid because all I want to do is work.

Yay two posts in one month!


I found out today that the last two pay periods I was approved finally for pay so I have about $300 from unemployment coming! I'm pretty excited because the investigation on me took far too long. I guess if you don't apply for the benefits right when you are laid off, they put you under investigation. Plus my application was a little difficult any ways even though I knew I qualified, I kind of figured it'd take me a while because I'm only qualified through fine print, not like an easy application. Vaguest of vague explanations.

Also I had a fantastic day. Even though it started with me getting little sleep, sleeping horribly, and having horrible dreams and being the biggest cunt in the morning. I hung out with Katy all weekend. She came over, we ate BK breakfast and watched a few Doctor Who episodes and then smoked a bowl each and went played rockband for hours. Then we packed up and went to Kendras to continue playing rockband 3! I had a lot of fun. Then I got home and Jenny and I went and got coffee. Now I'm high as a kite and hanging out in the bedroom with Andrew before sleepy town.

I like that I'm writing in here more. And I'm glad that my day has been all smiles and laughing. I feel like our lives are finally moving forward and we are finally reaching our little goals and pushing through the next ones. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. I'm becoming comfortable in my own body. Right now, life is good. And instead of worrying myself about the next thing to go wrong, or do, I'm going to take a few moments to throw my head back and embrace the calm blissful happy life I've finally accomplished.

It's nice to think back to two years ago and seeing how much I've grown and accomplished in terms of self improvement. I'm also going to take a few moments to admire myself.

Andrew is still working. This week he started 10 hour shifts and will be getting 10 hours of over time from now on. He will be making about $200 extra on his checks so thats definitely a huge help. He also said that it really doesn't feel any different than when he worked 8 hours shifts so I'm happy he's not overly tired because of it.

I feel like such a lousy person being unemployed.

We both have our own cell phone plans off our parents (one of my goals after coming home, took forever to freaking achieve!). My sister moved out and we moved to her old room for a variety of reasons, one being that behind a sheet thats covering the chimney thats leaking there is black mold, and even though the wall is peeling and its behind the wall in here, I figure it's safer than exposed black mold, until my parents get the leak fixed and replace the walls. It's also satiated my need to move for the time being.

I've been applying for unemployment weekly since about 3 weeks after getting laid off. My grandpa convinced me that if I apply enough times they finally get it right and give it to me. It would be nice but I'm not naive. I also have a part time Admin job kind of lined up. I'm waiting for the phone interview.

I'm actually going to call Planned Parenthood here in a minute. I want to inquire about the prices of the implantation that last three years and the depo shot. Whatever is cheaper I'm going with. I do know that in the long run the implant is no matter how expensive it is at first.. just because it last three years with the shot I'll be getting it every three months. I'm still on the fence about having something implanted under my skin..

We are also planning to move out by the end of summer. So thats exciting. And making me even more stressed about getting a job. :/

My car is finally not shaking uncontrollably as if it is about the just fall apart piece by piece any more. My dad finally fixed the axle.. well I finally had money to pay for it to be fixed, lol

My time at home has been spent online, reading a lot, and watching a lot of stuff. Sometimes playing a game. Mostly Dr. Who marathons. I hang out with my friend Katy a lot.

Actually, one thing that has really been bugging me. In the time I've been unemployed I gained another ten pounds. I'm getting really down about it. I just can't find the motivation to get off my ass.. I'm going to try a little harder to make a effort but who knows. I've also not touched my camera since my last update. I was feeling so uninspired, and there was one morning with the soft morning light shining through the sheer curtains in the living room and I got some pretty good shots but I haven't updated them. I need some inspiration and motivation for everything these days it seems.

So the news.. I got laid off at work. Go figure, I was hired as a temp so if I got fired I couldn't collect unemployment. Pretty much the Data Entry Clerk job was just typing in Rebate information sent it, and eventually it slowed down a lot so they told me they would call me when they needed me in.. Been two weeks so there goes my insurance and dental! Awesome. I'm actually going to be trying to apply for unemployment in the next few days here to collect from ACT, even though I quit. Why not try?

SOO about Andrews work history since I last posted. Andrew did not get the job at UPS. We never ended up going because GO FIGURE, the lady said the one in Cleveland, and well look at that. Theres like 3 or 4 in Cleveland! Awesome. And then he applied through where I was working and got a very very temp position in the Warehouse working 1-3 days a week when they needed him. Which was better than nothing so I was happy. And then my dad came up to him and told him they would be hiring at his job end of feb/beg of march.

So Andrew gets two interviews, one with a tool test, and then a drug test and he started Monday! My dad works in a brick factory pretty close to home. They work the same hours as of now. 6:30am - 3pm. Did I mention it was full time? Yeah. Oh, and it's paying $14.16. WHICH IS AWESOME. This summer is going to rock with saving money because he will be getting mass overtime.

And as of now I am currently not working. I've only applied to one place, and Sears Portrait Center. Today and tomorrow I plan on putting some applications in. I would really like to bring some cash in myself, and pay for my own things.

Oh, and I also got a new phone and cell phone plan. Prepaid monthly with Virgin Mobile for $45 a month. Unlimited text & data and 1200 minutes on a Blackberry. Andrew got an Android phone but we can't afford his plan until his first check next week, so he's been using my old one since my dads stuck on the plan til June and it's still activated.

All in all, things are pretty good. I've been hanging out with my sister more. I've been hanging out with my friend Katy more. Oh, and I started going to the gym. Which I've found keeps my crankiness at bay. And pilates in the morning! Which I love because I just feel more flexible and graceful after doing so. I've gotten pretty big (151 my BMI is officially OBESE) so I'm just focusing on fitting in more clothes and not really the number. I'd rather weigh a lot more and look skinnier and be incredibly toned and the like. Maybe I will post about it in the next few weeks if I make some kind of progress.

Did I mention Andrews birthday is today? He's 25 today (wow thats kind of crazy to think about) and tomorrows my birthday. We recently got a PSP and I'm getting him a game he really wanted and wagering with my friend for a bowl since we broke. I'm also going to bake him something yummy and cook him a nice dinner!

What else, what else? OH! I've buckled down pretty well and have really been focusing on improving my photography. Ohio is just so dead and ugly in the winter and I'm feeling really uninspired the last few days. I should probably eventually make a huge photography post.

So yeah, lots of different things going on. Half the time I'm contented, the other half I feel like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff and I'm just waiting to step on a loose rock and fall back to reality. I'm just going to live in the now, and try to enjoy the calm happy breeze blowing my way.

On Tuesday I got an email back from a place I applied to for a Data Entry position from like 5 days before. I happened to be in my email at the time she emailed me, so I was able to set up an interview for the very next day that I fortunately had off at 9:30am. Today, I had that interview. Today I got hired as a Data Entry Clerk.


I had to make it an epic opening. I have literally been trying to get this type of job for over 2 years. I knew that I could do it.. I knew it. I just had to stick with being vigorous with my sending out my resume. This is such a huge step for me.. I've been dealing in customer service for almost 9 years!! This summer it would have been NINE FRACKIN' YEARS! When I got the job at American Commodore Tuxedo I knew I was taking a step up, but not where I wanted to be standing.

Lets just go over the amazing-ness of my new job: I will make $9.00/hr. That is a $1 pay raise. I will be working only Monday through Friday. I work full time from 8am-5pm. I will be getting health insurance that only costs me $50 a month (ACT wanted me to pay $250 for group insurance!!). I will no longer be working with the public, and I will be entering in stuff into a computer. And this last one is a new one but dress code is "business casual but you can wear jeans" and I don't have to cover my tattoo.

The best part? She told me she only had a sorting and verifying position open in the morning so I took that, because I didn't want to work night. So I wasn't even originally going to be entering data actually in. Then I asked if I could start Monday so that I could finish out my last two shifts at American Commodore Tuxedo this (so that if they hold a check I will get a full check from ACT from previously holding one week).

She said she had to speak to the supervisor. When she called me back she left a voice mail saying she had pulled my score from my typing test finally and saw that I scored well above average. They said that if it ever slowed down they'd be able to utilize me in the Data Entry part so I was really happy about that. Then when I return her call she says she actually spoke to the supervisor again since then and they were just going to start me in Data Entry because I'd be such a great asset to the company. I'm thinking of giving myself a four day weekend and just not going in to ACT tomorrow or Friday. We shall see how I feel. Trying to be responsible here..

Andrew goes in for his walk through at UPS tomorrow.. crossing my fingers something happen with that. In all reality I'd prefer him to get the job with Kendras boyfriend James but thats on hold until they move.. so anxious!

On another note, I went apartment hunting today in North Royalton. OMG it was horrendous. I'm realizing if I want a nice place I may have to shell out on the cash or just take a crap place and save. Thats something to decide later.

Also! Getting my axle fixed on my car next week! FAR TOO EXCITED!! I'm tired of my car shaking and feeling like my wheels are going to fall off when I accelerate, or actually, any time as it has been lately.

Good things will happen this year. They BETTER. I've had a good start so far.

When something finally gives, a lot of things kind of fall into place pretty nicely.

We have been in Ohio for 9 freaking months. Nine. And In the last few weeks good things have finally been happened. Maybe we are finally getting our break. Our very well deserved break.

First of all. I should get more than a grand back on my taxes. Andrew didn't work a single day in 2011 and I took care of him financially for that entire year. So yes, I plan on claiming his ass, thank you very much.

Secondly, I got my fucking car radio working. EIGHT MONTHS without a radio in my car because my alternator went bad right when I got home and my battery was reset when it changed. I lost the password paper. But 1 week ago I figured out how to reset the entire thing and I've had freaking amazing car rides with tune-age. Music actually made me less stressed out and feel SO MUCH BETTER.

Thirdly, Andrew has a job offer in February pretty much but the lady is kinda flaky sketchy that owns it, even if our best friends Kendra and James are like family to them. They were gonna hire him but something about moving in February to a different location and they aren't going to hire until the move is complete. Anyways, I was really bummed because I was planning on using my Income Tax Return for us to get an apartment because we literally can not stand to live at my parents. Well Andrew just got a call from UPS! /fistpump

Fourthly, and this kind of coincides with the thirdly, but whatever. We are getting our own place! We can absolutely not stand living at my parents house any more, and as long as Andrew has a job we are set. I'm waiting to hear back from Key Bank, and the lady who made a "tentative" interview with me for a data entry job from 8:30am - 4:30pm didn't show up.. I have to call her too.

Lastly, I finally was FORCED to call Kmart about my w2's so I figured why not ask about my last paycheck because I don't think I ever recieved it. Turns out, I did get mailed a paper check as my last check instead of recieving on the card, and the lady made a case file so they can "investigate" and see if it was cashed, but I should have an extra $100-$130 by the end of this month. AWESOME, thats my axle for my car, and my microwave lol.

So honestly. If I can get a better a job, or really just any other job, a lot of things we wanted to happen are just falling into place. I've been afraid to talk about all this because I'm afraid something is going to go wrong, but I will fucking not let it, lol.

So now, I have a list of 20 possible places to move, and I now have to make some appointments and squeeze them in by the middle of February, we want to move in by March 1st! And since a lot of places require a 30 day vacate I know I have to call about availability in February, but honestly, I just want to get the viewings and questions out of the way. Did I mention that I have 35 question list printed for each apartment to ask during the viewing? They are going to HATE me, lol. But I refuse to live in a craptastic apartment like I did with Jenny, or Andrew for that matter.

It seems like I never have any good news when I come back to update my lj. Why do I even do this still? Ah well.

Some HOPEFULLY good news things, but with my luck, all of this will fall through.

- I can claim Andrew on my taxes! So excited, extra money back.
- Andrew has a job offer kind of from the place where James and Tara work. It's a mom and pop shop, that are hired based on knowing someone there, not actually applying. It just so happens that our best friends are very good friends with the entire family that owns it!
-My dads friend is trying to help me get a job at Key Bank as an Online Banking Specialist. Actually have to go through classes and the whole she bang. I should hear back sometime after January 11th, and then hopefully begin classes on January 23rd.
- As long as Andrew gets this job we are getting a place of our own with my income tax money. As much as we want to move back to California we would like to spend more time with a few people here and we would also like to prevent us both from going insane LIVING WITH MY PARENTS!
- My dog recently got very very sick. He had an infection in his digestive tract, a fever of 103, and an enlarged prostate. 4 vet visits later and our dog is eating, barking, and actually moving again. It was so depressing. He just wouldn't move. Like I'm gonna pee when I'm just standing here and not lift my leg cause I can't.
- On a lighter note my parents got me a Canon Rebel EOS 400D!! (XTi) I've gotten a few things for it, but I've been so busy I haven't done much with it.

Theres so much more going on but I'm just too sick to care.

So, yeah. Andrews first day going in today. And it's definitely weird. I mean, I just dropped him off somewhere and left! SO WEIRD! And and and. I'm at home and BORED before work cause he's not here :(

Nothing else new to report. Worked overtime this week 'cause my manager went on vacation. Which is awesome cause my check should be awesome friday for my concert!

Oh yeah, my friend rob, my sis & I are all going to see our favorite band friday night in Toledo! Circa Survive. I just love Anthony Greens voice. Amazing vocals! And we were able to purchase VIP passes. So we have a tickets for a sound check party before the doors even open for the concert!! Signed posters everything. We booked our hotel and we are gonna rent a car because all of our cars are fucking up.


Which reminds me.. Andrew and I might looking into purchasing a car together, a brand new one, even if the payments will be $400. My car is just taking a complete shit and I STILL owe $2800 on it.